learning to live and love from a new perspective

Archive for October, 2013

Awesomer Than Awesome

G’s transition to kindergarten has been awesomer than awesome. So awesome, in fact, that he hardly seems to need me at all. The first two weeks, I walked him all the way into his classroom and hovered nearby as he put his snack in his cubby, did his “check in”, and found an activity. Pretty soon it became clear that he really didn’t need me shadowing him in the classroom, because he could do everything all by himself. In fact, a couple of times, I corrected him, but it turned out he had followed the instructions properly, and my “helpfulness” was just getting in the way. FYI– Library books are returned to the blue table. The blue table is not the ACTUAL blue table (as I guessed). It is the brown table stationed underneath a hanging blue rectangle (as I was correctly informed by G). After the blue table incident, I have taken to saying good-bye at the cubbies, but hanging out in the hall and watching him for several minutes as he does all of his jobs completely unassisted. I’ve experienced a mix of emotions as I stand there, trying to be as unobtrusive as possible as I openly spy on my child.
I’m relieved. After all the worry on my part, he’s really doing it. He’s successfully made the big transition.
I’m proud. Look at my big boy go!
I’m grateful. Yes, he’s doing it all on his own. This is owed in large part to the wonderful teachers who prepared him so well, and the awesome team that has created a kindergarten environment in which my boy can thrive.
I’m sad, confused, and lost. If G doesn’t need me so much any more, now what do I do? How will I spend these hours that used to be dedicated to supporting him?
I’m determined. No matter how sad and lost I feel, I won’t create needs where they don’t exist. I won’t stand in the way of his independence simply because of my desire to feel needed.

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